“I know this now. Every man gives his life for what he believes. Every woman gives her life for what she believes. Sometimes people believe in little or nothing, yet give their lives to that little or nothing. One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. And then it is gone. But to sacrifice what you are and live without belief, that’s more terrible than dying.” Joan of Arc
Self-belief is one of the key principles of the Go MAD Solution Focused Thinking System. It is crucial to making a difference as it generates energy and helps you to build on your strong reason why, to maintain momentum. It can also affect your ability to involve others and gain buy-in to your goals – if you don’t believe in yourself to grow your goals, how can you expect others to?
The strength of our self-belief is influenced by the things we say about ourselves to ourselves. The following invites you to consider how you talk to yourself and how helpful this is to you in achieving your goals.
Be your own best friend
Many people have a poor self-image and opinion of themselves. Very often, this is continually reinforced by the internal repetitious messages they give themselves:
“I’m no good at…”
“I’m hopeless at…”
“I can’t do…”
“I’m awful at…”
“I’m clumsy; stupid; thick etc…”
“I’m useless at ….”
“I’ll never do it…”
Imagine your best friend spoke to you out loud in the same way as you speak to yourself, would he/she be saying:
“You’re great at…” or “You’re no good at…”
“You’re fantastic at…” or “You’re hopeless at…”
“You’re so talented at…” or “You’ll never do it…”
“You’re confident at…” or “You’re clumsy, stupid, thick etc.”
You probably wouldn’t want to associate with someone who continually gave you hindering messages. However, you might not realise the potential damage that these hindering self-talk statements could cause. Why, not become your own best friend by programming your mind with helpful messages that will build your confidence and self-belief. After all the subconscious mind accepts and believes exactly what passes through the conscious mind.
Here is a quick activity to encourage helpful thinking:
- Focus on something you currently want to achieve.
- Write down the messages you have been giving yourself about your goal and your ability to achieve this goal.
- Identify those messages which are hindering then write down a more helpful alternative.
- Focus on these helpful messages and repeat them regularly so that the grooves in your mind become helpful too.
This will help to increase your self-belief and therefore increase the probability of the success of achieving your goal.
(Includes extracts taken from the book ‘Go MAD- The Art of Making a Difference’ by Andy Gilbert)